Fixated on a partner, a possibility, an ex?
If you’re experiencing limerence—romantic infatuation, especially when it’s unrequited—pause. Gently set the person aside and turn your attention back to your own life.
When your life feels undernourished: low on purpose, passion, or connection, obsession can grow wild. Even a breadcrumb of attention (“They liked my post… was that a smile for me?”) can trigger a surge of feel-good chemicals, making that person seem like the source of all goodness.
But they’re not. They’re filling a gap.
Take an honest look: Are you waking up unsure what to do? Drifting after work? Doomscrolling, watching YouTube, reaching out to others from boredom or distress, only to circle back to thinking about them?
This isn’t about the person. It’s about your life needing more.
The antidote isn’t willpower, it’s nourishment.
Build a life that’s full enough to hold your attention:
Get involved in things that require your presence.
Join classes, groups, or events where you interact with others.
Choose activities with shared goals—pottery, martial arts, botany, volunteering, creative work.
Anything that:
Connects you with people
Expands your world through learning, challenge, or discovery
From there, something shifts. You may stumble into purpose—or remember one you already have. More often, you simply become more alive.
And when your life is alive, fixation loses its grip.
Notice what happens when you invest in real connection—not just with one person, but with many. We’re not wired for a single source of emotional sustenance. We’re wired for a village.
Build one.
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